Thursday, October 28, 2010
Pictures of my Grandpa Whetman...
I took these pictures just as candid shots of my grandpa and grandma at my sister's wedding last August. I thought I would edit them and clean them up a bit. My grandpa was such a happy man, I love him so much and will never forget him!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Breathing...
Breathing in and out is something that comes natural, something that is easy, for most of us that is. Someone very special to me has been struggling to breathe for the past few years.
Six months ago my grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer, pulmonary fibrosis and years earlier emphysema. Regardless of his struggle to catch his breath he continued to do everything that he wanted to do. He continued to live, not only live, but live well. He continued to live like Christ. He blessed others with his optimism, wisdom and his giving, loving heart. He gardened, traveled, rode his ATV's, went cruising in his yellow baby and continued to show his love for others. I am so glad I got to spend time with him. Each time I saw him his struggle to breathe became more and more obvious. The last time I saw my grandpa was 5 days ago. He was sitting in his chair wearing sweats, slippers and had a blanket on him. His struggle to breathe left him cold and weak. We talked about so many things in the short time I got to spend with him, but even talking left him short of breath. The tears would fall down his face as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose to get oxygen into his frail body.
Today was the last day that my grandpa had to struggle to breathe. He took his last breath surrounded by my grandma and his kids. I'm so happy that he isn't struggling anymore and that his strong spirit is living on continuing to do some of the things that he loves so much and learning new things about himself and the new life he has begun.
While driving home from his house today a song I have never heard before came on and the chorus touched me so deeply and is such a perfect song to remember my wonderful grandfather and the lessons he taught me not only through the years of my life but through his struggle 'til the end.
Six months ago my grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer, pulmonary fibrosis and years earlier emphysema. Regardless of his struggle to catch his breath he continued to do everything that he wanted to do. He continued to live, not only live, but live well. He continued to live like Christ. He blessed others with his optimism, wisdom and his giving, loving heart. He gardened, traveled, rode his ATV's, went cruising in his yellow baby and continued to show his love for others. I am so glad I got to spend time with him. Each time I saw him his struggle to breathe became more and more obvious. The last time I saw my grandpa was 5 days ago. He was sitting in his chair wearing sweats, slippers and had a blanket on him. His struggle to breathe left him cold and weak. We talked about so many things in the short time I got to spend with him, but even talking left him short of breath. The tears would fall down his face as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose to get oxygen into his frail body.
Today was the last day that my grandpa had to struggle to breathe. He took his last breath surrounded by my grandma and his kids. I'm so happy that he isn't struggling anymore and that his strong spirit is living on continuing to do some of the things that he loves so much and learning new things about himself and the new life he has begun.
While driving home from his house today a song I have never heard before came on and the chorus touched me so deeply and is such a perfect song to remember my wonderful grandfather and the lessons he taught me not only through the years of my life but through his struggle 'til the end.
Life's not the breath you take.
The breathing in and out that gets you through the day, isn't what it's all about.
You just might miss the point trying to win the race.
Life's not the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.
Just like it took my breath away when he took his last that morn.
Life's not the breaths you take. The breathing in and out that gets you through the day, isn't what it's all about.
You just might miss the point if you don't slow down the pace.
Life's not about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.
Thank you grandpa for all you did for me! I love you so much and I am so happy that you get to be with your dad and mom again. I am especially happy that you don't have to worry about breathing anymore. I know that my life will continue to take my breath away and I also know that your spirit will be there in those special moments breathing with me!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Pregnancy...
My pregnancy is officially HALF over. I am so excited about that, but doing this 3 other times before I know that the second half feels a lot longer than the first! I have so many mixed emotions about having another baby. Of course there is the excitement of a new little life, the snuggling and just cuteness, but with the good comes the bad. The unknown pain of a c-section scares the crap out of me since I will be having my first and only one this time around and the post partum depression is not a walk in the park either. When having another baby, sometimes the bad out weighs the good for the first few weeks. It will all be worth it.
We get to find out the gender on Thursday which is always exciting, but to be honest I am a little nervous. I REALLY want Kaysia to have a sister. I have been blessed with 2 and want her to know what it is like. I'm afraid of telling her she has to have ANOTHER brother. I catch myself almost referring to the baby as a 'she' ALL the time! I love my boys SO MUCH and to have another wouldn't really be so bad for me, but like I said, I really want Kaysia to have a sister and she REALLY wants one so I am keeping my fingers crossed.
This baby will be our last, I am so happy yet nervous to make that a permanent thing. I can't wait to start our lives as a complete family. Sometimes being pregnant or having a new baby can really put a wrinkle in things like family vacations. I know that I can't provide the kind of life that I want my kids to have for anymore than 4 and sometimes I think even that is pushing it. I want to be able to put them each in a music lesson and an activity like dance or sports. I have two now doing those things I am spread so THIN, I am not sure how I am going to do it with four. Of course I will find a way, mommies always do. One day I also want to be able to help them through college, go on missions and just be able to help them financially become the person they want to be when they grow up.
For now I am enjoying all the little kicks inside my belly and day dreaming (night dreaming too for that matter) about the day that we can welcome a new life in our family. I am savoring this pregnancy (even though being pregnant isn't one of my most favorite things in the world) and trying to create a permanent memory of exactly what it feels like when the baby moves and how it feels to have a bulging belly.
We get to find out the gender on Thursday which is always exciting, but to be honest I am a little nervous. I REALLY want Kaysia to have a sister. I have been blessed with 2 and want her to know what it is like. I'm afraid of telling her she has to have ANOTHER brother. I catch myself almost referring to the baby as a 'she' ALL the time! I love my boys SO MUCH and to have another wouldn't really be so bad for me, but like I said, I really want Kaysia to have a sister and she REALLY wants one so I am keeping my fingers crossed.
This baby will be our last, I am so happy yet nervous to make that a permanent thing. I can't wait to start our lives as a complete family. Sometimes being pregnant or having a new baby can really put a wrinkle in things like family vacations. I know that I can't provide the kind of life that I want my kids to have for anymore than 4 and sometimes I think even that is pushing it. I want to be able to put them each in a music lesson and an activity like dance or sports. I have two now doing those things I am spread so THIN, I am not sure how I am going to do it with four. Of course I will find a way, mommies always do. One day I also want to be able to help them through college, go on missions and just be able to help them financially become the person they want to be when they grow up.
For now I am enjoying all the little kicks inside my belly and day dreaming (night dreaming too for that matter) about the day that we can welcome a new life in our family. I am savoring this pregnancy (even though being pregnant isn't one of my most favorite things in the world) and trying to create a permanent memory of exactly what it feels like when the baby moves and how it feels to have a bulging belly.
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