Tuesday, May 25, 2010

What to do?......


So one of my friends has decided to home school her kids. Her daughter who is only in first grade is reading at a fifth grade level and is at a third grade math level. She is learning faster than the public school can teach her and the principal said there is nothing they can do. I feel like Kaysia could potentially be in the same situation as my friends daughter. She loves to learn yet all year in kindergarten I feel she learned nothing but how to share a teacher with 25 other kids, a very important lesson to be learned if she continues to attend public school. My friend found out that the 5th grade classes at Kaysia's elementary school will have 36 students in each class. Now I don't have a child that age but I have a feeling that number will be similar when she does reach that level. I can see where it would be so easy for a child's needs to get lost amongst a 35-1 student teacher ratio.
My friend sent me some information on a program or outline she has decided to try. This program is called Headgates. I am only 11 pages into the 32 page e-book and I have already learned so much about myself and the way a child 'should' learn.

Here are some parts of this book that pertain to me:

"All women want to feel like they are growing week to week, in some fashion or another. For example, if we are good with our schedule, we will find time to grow in such things as knowledge, experience with new skills, new hobbies, new recipes, new friends. All of these things take time, and they make us feel alive because we experience growth. When our schedules are not reliable, and we are not experiencing this needed growth that makes us feel alive, we unknowingly may attempt to fill this emptiness by seeking gain. Although materialistic gain does provide the temporary illusion of having experienced growth, it is short lived and un-satiating, and therefore urges us on to acquire more gain in effort to finally fill in the emptiness. This is why shopping becomes such a beloved past-time for
women. This expensive and unfulfilling cycle can be broken for a mother simply by getting a handle on her schedule, and making room in her schedule for her purpose, beyond survival.
When a woman lives on purpose, shopping (as an activity in and of itself) loses much of its luster. Purpose is much more richly fulfilling. "

The reason why this particular part pertains to me is the fact that I get such a rush from shopping. I can't explain it, I just love it. Now the coincidence is, I don't live by any sort of schedule. I sort of just take it day by day and let the wind carry me wherever it may. I really want to live a more scheduled life, not strict by any means but a more routine life. The reason for wanting this is not for myself but because of the importance that it has to my children.

This section of the book talks about each person knowing their order or role in the family. Once again this particular paragraph helps me to understand a part of me I couldn't explain myself.
"The challenge in our modern world for women who desire this fulfillment is to understand what that feminine role is. What does it look like in regards to her husband? What does it look like in regards to her children? When women experience the emptiness from not living up to their potential, they will search their entire lives for something with which to fill it in. They will bounce from one thing to another hoping to find what they are missing. The error though, lies in not knowing what it was they were missing. If only they could go inside themselves and return to
their childhood make-believe and see what it was that their little girl heart always desired, they could have all of the answers they need at their fingertips."
Jason makes enough money to support us and for our family to live comfortably. For reasons that I couldn't explain (until I read this) I wanted more for myself. I wanted to be important. I wanted to do something amazing and be successful. I wasn't feeling that from my daily cleaning and wrestling with kids. I did real estate for a couple years, which I did at the perfect time and was quite successful. I recently started photography bringing in a very small income, but it is something I am good at and thoroughly enjoyed. Like explained in the earlier version of the book, I am not growing. The answer to my problem is I don't know my order or 'role' in this family because I wasn't shown what that was growing up. My parents did what they needed to do to provide for us which meant my mother also became a provider in addition to being a nurturer. In the book it explains that parents need to be clear by example what exactly their role is in the family and make sure that the children also know theirs. Now, my mother was and is very motherly and did nothing but sacrifice for her children. She is a great mother. Now that I am a mother my role in my home is very different than hers was when I was growing up. So I guess you can safely say I am or was unknowingly confused.

Now back to the home school program. As far as this particular book shows you, you basically let your child learn at their own pace. There is no formal time set aside each day to teach. Basically your child wakes up in the morning helps mom with chores and grooms themselves, then in the afternoon they play. Now the mother watches the child 'play' and decides what phase they are in, that will then determine the rest of the program. The child doesn't become a personal slave to the mother but works closely with her, for example. If mom wakes up and makes breakfast and the child is there helping her, how much does the child learn about fractions and measurements. Or you crack an egg (if you are daring you let the child do it) the inside of the egg sparks your child's normal interest to learn and they may start to ask questions. So, just by your child helping you make pancakes, they had a small math lesson with a lesson of the anatomy of a chicken embryo. They are being taught important things without even realizing it! This is just a small example of what the book has described. I think it is VERY interesting and it has got me thinking seriously about my children's futures and how I want them educated.

Like I said before I am only 11 pages into this book and felt compelled to share the things I have learned!! I wish my friend all the luck and hope she is successful at this method of teaching her children. I am going to try it over the summer and see what comes of it. Who knows, maybe I too will feel confident enough to put my children's education in my own hands!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

New Church Calling...

Saturday afternoon we had an unexpected visit from our bishop. He came to issue a calling to 'us'. I was thinking to myself, "I wonder what they are going to call Jason to do, it must be important if the bishop is personally delivering the news to our house!" You see, I have been in my calling teaching Valiant 8 only since the beginning of the year. There was no way they were going to call me to do anything! He then looked at Jason and said, "Your wife is going to need your support in this, are you willing to support her?" I was thinking, "WHAT? I am getting another calling? What could I do on top of teaching the 8 year olds?" Turns out the plan wasn't an additional calling, it was a new one. Second counselor in the Relief Society Presidency.



I swear he had it wrong. I just kept saying "ME??? ME???" I always looked at the Relief Society Presidency as spiritual, wise, knowledgeable in the gospel, giving and just downright perfect women (or close to it). Women to look up to if you will. I really don't fit in this category! If I am honest...I have never even read the book of Mormon completely! My testimony of the church is growing, but still not where I would like it to be or where I think it should be for such a big calling. Now I know that I am not the President, but I take this just as seriously. I was learning so much about the gospel teaching the 8 year olds. I felt I was right where I needed to be, not too intimidating to teach them, yet still learning SO MUCH!

When I was set apart for my calling the first thing that was said in my blessing was that Heavenly Father wanted me to know that I was chosen, he chose me, for this calling. That was pretty powerful, given the fact that I don't fully understand why I was chosen. I do know this however, I was put in my calling in the primary to learn things that helped my friend, Shauna, who has been dealing the loss of her sister. Because of the lesson I taught these children I was able to explain the plan of salvation to her, hopefully bringing peace to her and the plan for us. I was able to use her sister as an example of the sacrifice of Christ and what he specifically did for her. I appreciated and loved teaching these children but I feel like Heavenly Father will put me in places I need to be exactly when I need to be there. I am excited for the new experiences and spiritual growth my new calling will bring me. I trust that He will be there when I need guidance to help me become the woman I need to be!!