So my really good friend since the 10th grade called me thursday morning to tell me that her sister had died. I couldn't believe it, my heart just broke in a million pieces for her. Her sister and her were SO close. All they had was each other growing up in a family that sometimes seemed torn. Shauna lives in Idaho and came down to Utah to be with her family on Thursday. I went to spend some time with her and her family on Friday. I never realized how much I loved her crazy little family until this past week. Although I was there witnessing people go through the hardest time in their life I was overwhelmed by the spirit. Shauna's family isn't super religious and so thier eternal perspective of family isn't necessarily as clear to them as it is to me. I felt the spirit guide me to help them understand that their baby girl and beloved sister wasn't 'gone' she is just here in a different way. Before I joined them on friday I said a prayer to give me strength to do whatever it was they needed me to do or be to help them through this. To all that know me, I am a CRY BABY, I cry at commercials for pete's sake!! I was really nervous to go there because I needed to be strong. They were crumbling and needed to crumble, they needed someone to look up to, to hold them up and maybe give them some hope for the future. My prayer was answered. I felt that I was amazingly strong and effortlessly gave them hopeful insight to a more eternal perspective to life and how forgiving our God is.
As I was leaving Amber's (shauna's sister) little boys came in, it wasn't until then that I started feeling week. Looking into her son's beautiful innocent eyes, knowing that their momma wouldn't be kissing them goodnight that night and for many nights to come CRUSHED me. I got into my car and totally lost it all the way home. God answered my prayer and made me strong for the time I needed to be. That night I told Shauna and her mom to let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to please don't hesitate to ask. A couple days later Shauna said that they had come up with something very special that they only trusted me to do. I couldn't imagine what that would be. They asked me to take pictures at the funeral.
Her mom wanted last pictures of Amber and things about the funeral captured so she would never forget what a beautiful goodbye her daughter had (or see you later as I would like to think of it). After Jason's dad died I swore to myself NO MATTER WHAT I would NEVER attend another viewing as long as I could help it. My best friend needed me, I didn't have anyother choice. She had made the choice not to see her sister in death and I promised her that I would take beautiful pictures so when she was ready she could see her at rest. This made me VERY nervous. I decided to see Amber a couple hours before I had to take pictures to shake off the initial shock. She looked beautiful. I can't say she really looked like the Amber I knew because Amber was so full of life, she just bounced all over the place and I don't think I ever saw her serious. So to see her so still, was just not the Amber I knew, but she was beautiful. I didn't realize that taking those last pictures of the last goodbye would be the HARDEST thing I would do to date. Capturing a little boy saying goodbye to his momma, a mommy saying goodbye to her little girl and a fiance kissing his honey for the last time was udderly and completely HEART WRENCHING!! I snapped the pictures and needless to say, Shauna was the one comforting me at this point since she choose not to be apart of that. Shauna was amazing that day. She was so inhumanly strong, I couldn't believe it! I think I prayed so hard for her family that day that maybe I left myself out of the prayer! I still am not sure if and when I will be able to go back to those pictures and edit them. I think that will take an extra prayer or two!!
Amber's service was beautiful and full of spirit. Everyone wore red to the service in memory of Amber's favorite color. Her fiance Pat spoke and the first thing he did was tell people her favorite color wasn't red....it was purple!!
I hope and pray that her family continues to hope and believe that they will see Amber again and to us it will seem like eternity, but for her it is just a brief moment when they will be reunited in a more perfect world than we can even imagine. I hope and pray also that they may find God to be comforting and that one day soon when she is done with her business up there that they will feel her and it will be undeniable to them that what they felt was indeed Amber letting them know that she is here and sees them and knows they love her and always will!!
I love you Mund and Forrest family!! God is GOOD!
XOXOXOX
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