Projects...

Every couple of months I get in 'Project Mode'. My husband HATES it and to be quite frank so do I. I get my wheels turning and all I can think about is getting a project done. We did this bathroom a couple months ago and today I just fininshed it by painting the ceiling white and hanging the towel holder. Now I am back in project mode and decided that I can't start the next thing on my list (which is a VERY long list) until this bathroom was completed.

BEFORE....

I hated the pedistal sink. Although it is simple and beautiful, it really has/had no function other than a sink.

AFTER....

We replaced the pedistal sink, with this BEAUTIFUL cabinet/sink. I painted the walls a color called 'dusty olive' and changed out the light fixture and faucet to an oil rubbed bronze finish. I love that bathroom now and especially love the storage space under the sink!

One project down, a million more to go!! NEXT....dun, dun, dun, the LAUNDRY ROOM!

Finally pictures to go with the last post...

Here is a couple pictures of my poor van. I miss it so much. I am greatful that I have had Jason's truck to drive around, but it isn't my minivan! I never thought I would appreciate a minivan so much! I will hopefully be getting it back from the shop soon, I can't wait!

Car Accident....

On Friday March, 19th I was in my first ever car crash. I was driving along on Redwood Road and the traffic was flowing great. One of the kids in the back was talking to me so I looked in my "kid view mirror" then when I looked forward again traffic was at a complete stop. Now I would say that I was probably driving at a speed of 45 mph, give or take a few miles. The car in front of me was close and I was full speed ahead. I slammed on my brakes and swerved to the left into the emergency middle lane but it wasn't enough. Next thing I know I am looking around the white smoke filled van trying to register what had happened. I looked back at the kids, who were all crying then felt a horrible pain in my arm. When I looked at my arm I realized the air bag deployed and had burned my arm from wrist to elbow with skinned raw wounds. I am trying to calm the kids down when my own stability was completely comprimised. All I knew was, my kids were upset and I CANNOT cry or be upset either. My brain is so confused I probably sat in my car for almost 10 minutes before I picked up my cell phone in a watery mess on the floor and called Jason. I told him I had been in an accident and I don't know what to do. He asked me if me and the kids were okay and I told him I thought we were fine then he said I needed to call the cops. I told him I don't know the number and he said, 911, yes you can all laugh at me now, but at the time I wasn't thinking it was an emergency, life or death emergency like I have been taught to only use that number in those types of situations. I noticed the woman whose car I hit was on her cell phone so I finally made my way from the driver's seat to the passenger side and got out of the van. Now I know I hit hard but I didn't realize how serious it was. When I stepped out of my van I looked at the ground it literally looked like a bomb went off. There was debris EVERYWHERE. Small pieces of what used to be my head light and the silver metallic sage fender of my van. I looked at my van and NOTHING was left on the front passenger side. My beautiful van was bare to the frame in that area. WOW, I really crashed hard. I asked the lady if she was alright and apologized for hitting her. When I asked how she was doing she dramatically said "I don't know, I think I need to go to the hospital, my head, I really hit it hard", meanwhile, her kid who sat bouncing in the front seat who could not have been older but 10, is telling me oh we are okay, we are fine. Her son then noticed my arm and said , "your arm are you okay?" His mom heard her son then quickly asked, "how about you?" Now I am not passing any judgement and I do feel HORRIBLY for hitting her. But really? Yes, she needed to be checked out, yes I am sure she is injured and I am sure it hurt like the dickins, but I put myself in that situation and I think the appropriate response would be "I will be okay, but I really think I should be checked out." I don't know, maybe I don't think the same as other people, but when you are a mother and you have scared children relying on you to reasure them things are okay, there is no need for drama. Anyway, next thing I know there are 4 cop cars 2 ambulances a paramedic and a fire truck. I looked around and thought to myself, "Is this really necessary?" I think I underestimated the seriousness of it. When I look back at the accident and the 'could have beens', I realized that even though it was a horrible experience God was there, he protected me, my kids and all that were involved and everything worked out EXACTLY as it needed to to keep everyone as safe as possible. Had I not swerved the injuries would have been worse I am sure. Had I swerved too much, I would have went into oncoming traffic and collided head on with another car, and that I am POSITIVE would have had major injuries! I am happy to say that other than some sore muscles and a scraped up arm, I am doing great physically, most importantly the kids all walked away with not a scratch. Mentally I am having a hard time. I would like to think of myself as strong person that things like this wouldn't have an effect on. Like riding a horse, you fall and you get back on. The next day I was a passenger in my mom's car and there were a few times I had to hold back the tears. I felt like I was having an anxiety attack! Now I haven't been in a car for an entire day and I need to be driving to Salt Lake tomorrow and I am scared to death. I think about it and I just wail up in tears. Is this normal???? I know it isn't the end of driving for me, but I hope the anxiety goes away quickly because driving is a HUGE part of my life!

I learned 2 things that day. I learned that God does watch over us and protects us from harm if it is his will. I also learned a very important lesson of motherhood...
No matter how scared you are, or how much pain you are in, when your little ones need you to be strong you have no choice but to be. I have NEVER been in a situation like this where I just wanted to crumble and I suprised myself at the strength that I had to hold back ALL tears, not one was shed (by myself). My cry was there in my throat, but my voice did not shake, my tears where in my eyes but never came over my lids. All I wanted in that moment was for my husband to get there so I could get in his truck turn my head and let the tears flow that so desperately wanted to for well over an hour!

Tomorrow I will make my way to the tow yard to pay my sweet van a visit (yes I suddenly feel like my van has feeling and that I really hurt them!) I will get some pictures of the poor thing and post them soon.

Growing up....

Over the past couple of days I have had a ton of bricks just fall and hit me in the head. I have realized all of my responsibilities at once. Now I know this isn't new, I mean, I HAVE been a mother for over SIX years. I think reality just slapped me in the face. As I got off the couch from watching American Idol tonight, I looked in the kitchen and was so relieved that the dishes were done and the kitchen was clean. I DID THAT. I remember when I was living at home and my mom would do that, oh how I loved when our home was clean. Now I am the mom, the housekeeper, the chef and the baker, the launderer, the taxi driver, the grocery shopper, the piano teachers assistant for practices, the listener of little readers, the discipliner, the slave driver, the singer of lullaby's, the kisser of owies, an activities planner, the hair dresser, a playmate, a life lessons teacher, a Sunday school teacher, an etticiut teacher, a payer of bills, a walking calendar, a friend helping friends through grown up stuff, a gym rat (trying to take care of myself), a car detailer and the list just goes on and on and on! WHEN DID THIS ALL HAPPEN?? Maybe I am just feeling a little overwhelmed with life, and all the 'To Do's' that come with it that are making me feel a little more grown up lately. Maybe it is because I am rapidly approaching 30, an age that I didn't think would be hard to hit. What I do know is, even though I get overwhelmed at times, and I am not the best at any of the above listed duties, I am SO GRATEFUL for the 3 little rugrats that brought on 90% of them! God has truly blessed my life with beautiful children a hard working husband and health all around. I have a quote in my house that I look at everyday that reads, "Grant me patience to deal with my blessings!" Amen to that and maybe a little granting of energy too!

Button, Button, who's got the BUTTONS?

I decided to come up with a reward system for the kids. I have tried many things and I think this one just might work. I proposed this plan to them and they were SO EXCITED! I am hoping the excitement lasts.


Each kid has their own jar to keep their buttons in.


This jar is the 'Bank of Buttons'. They can earn these buttons by doing jobs around the house, good listening, being kind and just going anything good. They use these buttons to play the WII or computer games. They can also save up their buttons and get bigger things like a fun activity and such.


This is our 'Job Jar'...


Each stick has a job on it and the kids have to pick 2 sticks a day. They will of course earn buttons upon completing the task on the stick.



I am hoping that this little idea works. I am pretty excited to get started and so are they! Wish us luck!

Pictures

I took my kids to the train station to attempt getting their pictures. This time was a bit better than the last but I still am not super impressed with my work. I feel like I have taken some amazing pictures for other people but can't quite get the same quality with my own kids. Don't get me wrong, I think the pictures are cute they just don't do my kids justice. Maybe that is my problem...I think my kids are just way cuter than the pictures I take of them!

One heck of a week...

So my really good friend since the 10th grade called me thursday morning to tell me that her sister had died. I couldn't believe it, my heart just broke in a million pieces for her. Her sister and her were SO close. All they had was each other growing up in a family that sometimes seemed torn. Shauna lives in Idaho and came down to Utah to be with her family on Thursday. I went to spend some time with her and her family on Friday. I never realized how much I loved her crazy little family until this past week. Although I was there witnessing people go through the hardest time in their life I was overwhelmed by the spirit. Shauna's family isn't super religious and so thier eternal perspective of family isn't necessarily as clear to them as it is to me. I felt the spirit guide me to help them understand that their baby girl and beloved sister wasn't 'gone' she is just here in a different way. Before I joined them on friday I said a prayer to give me strength to do whatever it was they needed me to do or be to help them through this. To all that know me, I am a CRY BABY, I cry at commercials for pete's sake!! I was really nervous to go there because I needed to be strong. They were crumbling and needed to crumble, they needed someone to look up to, to hold them up and maybe give them some hope for the future. My prayer was answered. I felt that I was amazingly strong and effortlessly gave them hopeful insight to a more eternal perspective to life and how forgiving our God is.
As I was leaving Amber's (shauna's sister) little boys came in, it wasn't until then that I started feeling week. Looking into her son's beautiful innocent eyes, knowing that their momma wouldn't be kissing them goodnight that night and for many nights to come CRUSHED me. I got into my car and totally lost it all the way home. God answered my prayer and made me strong for the time I needed to be. That night I told Shauna and her mom to let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to please don't hesitate to ask. A couple days later Shauna said that they had come up with something very special that they only trusted me to do. I couldn't imagine what that would be. They asked me to take pictures at the funeral.
Her mom wanted last pictures of Amber and things about the funeral captured so she would never forget what a beautiful goodbye her daughter had (or see you later as I would like to think of it). After Jason's dad died I swore to myself NO MATTER WHAT I would NEVER attend another viewing as long as I could help it. My best friend needed me, I didn't have anyother choice. She had made the choice not to see her sister in death and I promised her that I would take beautiful pictures so when she was ready she could see her at rest. This made me VERY nervous. I decided to see Amber a couple hours before I had to take pictures to shake off the initial shock. She looked beautiful. I can't say she really looked like the Amber I knew because Amber was so full of life, she just bounced all over the place and I don't think I ever saw her serious. So to see her so still, was just not the Amber I knew, but she was beautiful. I didn't realize that taking those last pictures of the last goodbye would be the HARDEST thing I would do to date. Capturing a little boy saying goodbye to his momma, a mommy saying goodbye to her little girl and a fiance kissing his honey for the last time was udderly and completely HEART WRENCHING!! I snapped the pictures and needless to say, Shauna was the one comforting me at this point since she choose not to be apart of that. Shauna was amazing that day. She was so inhumanly strong, I couldn't believe it! I think I prayed so hard for her family that day that maybe I left myself out of the prayer! I still am not sure if and when I will be able to go back to those pictures and edit them. I think that will take an extra prayer or two!!
Amber's service was beautiful and full of spirit. Everyone wore red to the service in memory of Amber's favorite color. Her fiance Pat spoke and the first thing he did was tell people her favorite color wasn't red....it was purple!!
I hope and pray that her family continues to hope and believe that they will see Amber again and to us it will seem like eternity, but for her it is just a brief moment when they will be reunited in a more perfect world than we can even imagine. I hope and pray also that they may find God to be comforting and that one day soon when she is done with her business up there that they will feel her and it will be undeniable to them that what they felt was indeed Amber letting them know that she is here and sees them and knows they love her and always will!!

I love you Mund and Forrest family!! God is GOOD!

XOXOXOX